The Art of Parenting

I feel recently there's been more Michael than camera on this blog. There isn't really a reason for this as the blogs I've been posting haven't really needed my photography skill. But as I started this blog as an attempt to get me off my arse and take more pictures, I will do just do that, but more about that later.

Today we're looking at that 'miracle' that is life, now to keep to my word here is just one picture taken by me of my sister, when she was born.


That picture was taken about one year ago, and now my sister is a bit more grown up and a bit more annoying. I personally call this the sibling rivalry theory. I have another sister who is younger than me but older than the one that is pictured, and she is annoying. I mean extremely annoying, but granted no more annoying than any other teenage girl of her age. However I believe that the older than your siblings get the more aggravating it becomes to talk to them. I suppose in reality even though they are your family, sometimes you can be just completely different people, with nothing in common. Don't get me wrong I really do love my family, maybe not as much as this woman (kudos to the bitchy waiter) it got me to wonder why the hell would anyone have kids in the first place?

It costs on average in Britain, according to "new figures" (who takes the time to do these surveys really?), around £200,000 to keep a child until they are 21. I mean who in their right minds wants to shell out that kind of money? My father told me that he hit his "million" pay mark about roughly about 5 years ago. Now he has three kids including myself, that's £600,000 roughly for him to raise us, that's about £400,000 left for him for bills, mortgage and the rest of that stuff that he has to deal with. To put it more into context I try (god forbid) to image what it would be like if I had a child. Over the past three years of part time work I have earnt in the region £2000, so thats only £198,000 to go. I'd be working after I'm dead if I carried on in the same lame-ass job (more on that coming up).
I mean god, I am very grateful that my dad has paid out this vast sum of money to raise me into a fully grown adult. But imagine if I had fucked up my life completely, started doing drugs and became a rent boy to pay for them? I can't imagine the utter frustration, that must be for him, not in terms of just money, but the life's work that is parenting.


I think this picture safely explains what I'm on about (more tips on parenting here). There are as everybody knows good parents and bad parents, sometimes it is very hard to determine which are which, but sometimes you just know.

I work in shoe store, because a young man like myself got to drink and those strongbow pints don't pay for themselves. I work specifically in the children's department and over the two years I have been working there I have slowly come to hate children and through this I can now understand what good and bad parenting is. I'll give you a quick scenario to explain. A woman comes in with her three "charming" children, and asks whether she can get her offspring fitted with pairs of sandals for each of them.

unfortunately for myself, we've sold out of sandals, because its the end of the summer. So after a bit of huffing and puffing, the woman, decides to get them some new school shoes, while they're in...1 hour later...I am at the end of my tether, with this lot by now (its meant to take about 15 minutes to serve a customer). Numerous shoes have been tried and each child has been complaining with each one in some way or another.

While this has been happening the other two have been running around screaming and the mothers has done hardly anything about it apart from shout at them loudly and give them a quick smack around the head/legs/arse (I'm not a believer in hitting a child, I believe with the right tone of voice and the right look in their eyes, a parent can intimidate the child into submission, same principle as training a pet really). After another 20 minutes of continual aggravation from this family and the woman asking for the manager because I'M not doing my job right, the woman decides to leave.

The children, however have other plans, they continue to run amok throwing shoes around and trying to nick the toys on display. The woman (I cannot call her a mother, simply because she does not qualify the right to even have the title) responded to this by shouting and hitting a bit more, eventually ending her efforts when she put her head on one of the chairs and has a small breakdown. Thankfully a man (who I can only presume is the estranged father of this insane clan) came into the store and shouted at the kids in such a way, it made me shudder and then lead his stupid spouse away out of the store.

This is a fine example of BAD parenting.

I mean who was to blame in that story? Was it the children? No ofcourse it wasn't. Those parents from the moment of the children's birth had made bad choices in "raising" them (more like dragging them up). You can blame television, diets and education all you like, but these are just secondary to the art of parenting. As I have said before it scares me that kids today will be in charge (this now tends reminds me of this in an iconic way). Bad parenting continue to effect these children's lives until adulthood, thus effecting life choices.

However you've got to look on the flipside of this arguement as well, sometimes it is outside factors that turn kids into little hell raisers. A parent can't be blamed entirely if their son/daughter turns to a life of crime and drugs. Also what can be defined as good parenting? every person is different, every situation is unique. I guess it is how these situations are dealt with is how you can define a good parent. But when is all said and done to often nowdays parenting is used as a scapegoat like videogames and music in modern society. In truth it takes a lot of balls, determination and struggle to be a good parent.

To look back and my previous question, why people would want to have kids, I try to think of the positives to this to try and answer. Not many spring to mind but I believe in essence its a fact of nature, we are naturally born to reproduce (we've been doing it very well for a number of years now). But maybe just maybe, its to do with love, a unconditional feeling between parent and child made instant at birth. Personally I think thats a load of bollocks though. Babies are smelly, screamy, sometimes ugly creatures, so I can't see the attraction myself, perhaps because being young and having no kids of my own, I don't understand this emotion.

To conclude until I have my own kids I don't think i'll be able to comprehend the task that is parenting, by then I hope i'll be financially stable enough to provide the adequate funds to help with the life time job of being a father, but in my true sceptical style of opinion, i'll end on this point made by the Monty Python boys

"Every Sperm is Sacred". I think not.

Mull it over a couple of times.

MT

P.S. This is definately the last post until August, so see you in two weeks after my holiday.

i'll have been to kendal calling by then and next tim i'll be talking about festivals with the use of my own photographs, what a wonder that will be! Seriously though I have become a very lazy photographer, this stops now...well at least until the next blog anyway.
Oh yeah, I've also managed to not give into twitter still, so maybe I am anti twitter revolutionary afterall.